I'm at work,

and I really wish I were at home cleaning the best that I could and doing my homework. I was 14 minutes late because I accidently fell asleep like a dumby. I need to get to Tania's house and grab my medicine because I haven't been taking it like I should lately so I've been feeling depressed. I really really really want to talk to someone profesionally but I'm not sure what exactly I would say and I can't right now. Ugh, I don't want to feel this way..I feel like crying right now but I obviously can't because I'm at work. I have two freaking hours left.

Flickr

I'm going to Florida :)

Yayy, it's a good day :).

So today is good so far! I really really like it :). Hopefully I can see Tyler tonight after work with Tania and Ben. Ben's funny and Tania is just plain old sexy ahaha:). So yesterday I only had a banana because I honestly was not that hungry. Then today I woke up really hungry (luckily with no pains and nausea like I usually get when I'm really hungry) and decided that I was craving McDonald's. WELL, I went there and I got two extremely greasy breakfast sandwiches and that was a horrible decision to make!! I got all sick from the greasy food and I felt even worse for eating such horrible food. I don't even know what I was thinking because I prefer Burger King's breakfast over McDonald's any day. It's probably because my step dad was driving and he probably wouldn't have known where Burger King was. It's all good now :). The past few days I've been having weird stomach cramps like I have my period and it's soo annoying!! I think I get those randomly(I say think because I have a horrible memory).

Nothing for lunch, except maybe pop. Already feel too guilty over those greasy sandwiches :\. Oh oh, on Monday I am going to the Star Trek movie with my dad, step mom, brother, maybe my three sisters and Ty. I am not really into Star Trek and I was hoping he would come with to just entertain me but he gasped and wanted to see that movie badly so now I have to watch it with my full on attention :(, ha ha. I'm so silly, I crack myself up over nothing :). Sometimes I worry myself lmao. I'm just having a ball typing away:). Have fun reading this Becky ;]. You know what I need, I need new earrings! I want to get my ears pierced a lot but I'm worried about them itching constantly and them looking even worse because the piercing people keep screwing them up. Gotta go, LUNCH!

Feeling kind of bad,

and I really really hate it. School is so hard for me and I hate studying. PLUS, my good mood as gone away and now I feel crappy again. I knew it wouldn't last forever but the 3.5 days that it did last was really amazing. I haven't felt that good in such a long time. But since I'm going to see Tyler tonight, I feel better at least about that. I'm not really sure what my problem is, I constantly think about things when I should be relaxing and I worry over ever little thing. Ugh, I hate make-up!!!

Dreams

I dream about dark things or things I'm feeling. I don't take them as signs, I just take them as my feelings coming out most of the time. I'm also obsessed with scary movies and such so my dreams are always in the dark/at night time and something bad always happens in the dreams. Sometimes I dream about scary movies I've seen or zombies, the bloody scary fast kind. I can't remember the last time I had a good dream. I think I began having strange/weird/bad dreams when I was 8 years old or something. But it's also kind of like a scary movie for me so I like to sleep and see what I'm going to dream about :). I don't want to sound creepy or anything when I say this but sometimes I fall asleep and hope I'll dream about Justin because I can actually see him in my dream but he's usually a buttface in the dream so it's not like it matters anyway lol. But I'm slowly getting over him and that :). Last night I dreamt about different random weird things and I can't totally remember it but it was dark as usual :)..or :(? I'm not sure which one is appropriate for that type of sentence! For my insomnia, I had it for a week once before and there was nothing I could do to get me to sleep except lay in bed and hope that I would eventually fall asleep! But it was never due to dreams, just all of the lack of sleep from the past.

My dreams are usually like this:

I'm in such a good mood!

I haven't felt this great probably since the summer of 2006. It's amazing to feel this good again, even though I'm hungry :(. I was going to take Jessie as my prom date but she is my second prom date now because I get to go with this really cute boy ;D!!! I'm so happy about that. And on top of it, this is my 3rd day that I haven't been pulling! Seriously, such a good week so far and I'm loving it. :) I'm not used to it so it's kind of over whelming. I've got lot's of work to do so I'd better get to it.

This is how I feel =D

Another good day! and the movie.

So maybe I'm not doing very good with my classes but that's nothing new :). It's not ruining my day. I'm a lot better these past two days that I have been in awhile. I'm sooo hungry. I haven't pulled for almost 2 days and that's the first time EVER in my 9 years. It's amazing and I'm really loving the feeling. I have to go to work tonight and I kind of missed it. It's like my second home :). It gets really boring though...and I still need to get shoes for my dress. I'm not really sure what else I need for it... I finally got my phone and I'm loving it. It's so nice to have my phone back. I'm trying to figure out what to do for my birthday. Most likely a hotel party but I have to see what my friends think of that idea and how many will actually come. It's my party though so they can just suck it up or not come at all and let the ones who want to come enjoy their time there :).

As for the movie, I never thought I'd actually watch something like this but it's pretty good. It's rather strange...and I'm not really sure what the point of it is. Is it just about a crazy family or something???

Weddings and Make-Up.

I love the thought of weddings and getting married. I can't wait for the day that I am proposed to and get married. I cried at the rehearsal for my sister's wedding because it all was just amazing! Then I cried at the actual wedding :). The cake was SOOOO yummy! My sister did pumpkin I believe. It was so incredibly good! I don't really understand why some people don't want to get married but I'm not against their opinion and beliefs.

As for make-up, I too think that the make-up may make us look pretty but exactly why is that supposed to be considered 'pretty'. It's not even the real me. Although the real me is gone even without the make-up because of my disorder. I really love and I really hate make-up. It's definitely saved me from a lot of shame and embarrassment but it has also made me look fake and I just don't like that.

Good weekend :)

I'm sorry I wasn't here Friday, Becky. I had to leave to my dad's and plus, I made a lot more money because I left a day early. I made $87 for the whole weekend and it's going into my savings for my dog's hip surgery. I have a long ways to go though, but it's a good start. I also got sunburn on my face and it hurts when I touch my nose. I ate a heck of a lot so it caused me to feel a little more drained because too many sweets usually does that to me. Tonight I am going to McDonald's with Megan and then we're going to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past :). I'm in a good mood right now and it really makes me happy.

Achille's Heal

My achille's heals are movies and sweets. Mmm, I love sweet things. Like cupcakes with whipped topping and chocolate chip cookies. Basically one of the yummiest things ever!! Movies are also my other A.H. Movies are amazing and I love them.