Wow,

I want to see Justin. This sucks, I asked him if he could take me somewhere for my birthday, just the two of us and he thought that was stupid. I don't really know why he thinks the way he does sometimes. I want to see him..but I can't tonight and it's my fault but I don't really want to say why. I wish I didn't feel the way I did for him. It's totally unnecessary and I don't need it. Danny was sweet enough to send me money and I'm so happy for that. I look at him this way, he's an angel that God sent to me. I really want to see him and I'd better get to this summer!!! Ugh, I can't talk about this anymore, I'm feeling to blah over it all. I want to see Megan.

My blog of the day.

Hmmm, so I suppose I have a thought or two about some things. Mainly one thing, I guess. First off, Justin and I didn't get to go to the movies last night :(, but I actually didn't mind this time. I was too tired to care. I didn't get to bed early though and I'm not sure why I have such trouble sleeping at night. I did have insomnia last year at one point for a week straight and it was BAD! But I don't know if that's the case this time. I'm just a night person and it's hard for me to fall asleep. Then I had like one or two dreams that were just crazy. One of them had zombies in it and they're my favorite thing, but they also really scare me and I love it. But the dream wasn't so nice :(. Then there were tornados. For some reason I would always have dreams and my favorite teachers were the tornadoes, trying to get me. But now the tornadoes aren't anyone specifically, they are just tornadoes coming after me. Or I'll have dreams of me being up in extremely high places. Usually, my dreams are dark and don't really have happy endings. Sometimes I can jump really high and sometimes I can fly but I have trouble most of the time. It's getting to the point where I want to fall asleep because my dreams are so fascinating that I just like to be in them. I love love love scary movies and my dreams are like living in one :), I hope that doesn't sound creepy. Whatevvv ;D.

Also, we have this assembly to talk about gays, lesbians and bi-sexuals that is mandatory. I'm definitely not against me but some little part of me is. I am not going to lie, I am bi-sexual deep down but I have chosen to just ignore it and put God first. I'm not going to lie, it's hard but I know God will help me through this. Maybe some of you will disagree with what I have chosen to do but this is what I feel I need to do and the thing is, I never wanted to marry a girl anyway. I have had strong feelings for one particular girl but it was never going to work out and I'm glad because I would have probably eventually fallen in love with her. I definitely don't want that to happen..it's happened too many times for my own good! I am listening to this Britney Spears CD with If U Seek Amy, Womanizer, etc and it's really good :). People are always surprised when I tell them I listen to all kinds of music. Sometimes people assume I just listen to rock because of the way I dress sometimes and it's irritating but I just ignore it. :)

Blogging Class Assignment 4/16/09

Q: How are you and your teachers alike? How are you and your teachers different? What skills and talents do you have in common? What talents and knowledge does your generation have that your parents and teachers might lack?

A: My teachers and I are alike in a way that we're both human. This is their job, they do it for money and some even actually do it to help students (WOW, I know, right??)!! The only thing that really makes us different is that we are in two different time zones right now. I am beginning to slowly grow up and they have already done a lot or some of their growing up. I definitely won't want to be a teacher when I grow up, sorry Becky. We all are capable of achieving something in life and the only thing that differs from us young ones is that they have achieved a lot more due to them being almost a century's worth older!!! We have learned a lot more, a lot faster about the 'new' days as apposed to when the teachers learned the 'old' days. They grew up with older music, older clothes, older people like themselves ;).

So I'm pretty tired.

and it really sucks. I'm feeling a little isdcknfrkuenf today. I was extremely hyper this morning and now I'm feeling tired. I didn't get much sleep last night, only about 6 hours and that's usually how it goes for me. Yesterday, I cleaned for 7 hours straight. 2 loads of dishes, about 4 loads of laundry and lot's of carpet cleaning! It smells so much better in the house. I am always so disgusted with myself when it smells weird or anything like that. Now I can finally have someone over and not be so embarrassed about the place I am having to live in. So I get to see this one guy (unsure of what my feelings are for him but it's definitely extreme like for him) today and I told him that he had to pay for me because last time I payed for him. What a woman. Then he is coming over to my place on Saturday to..watch movies? Meh, I suck at coming up with plans so whatever I find to do, I'll be happy either way because I like spending time with him.

My mom is going out of town with her husband to this fish creations show so I get the whole weekend to myself. But the thing that sucks is that I will be work both days, then Justin comes over so not much time for myself..but that's O.K. because I get bored easily. Seriously, I am soooo tired :(. I feel like I could just pass out right at this very moment. When lunch rolls around, I'm about to buy me some Ramen Noodles!!! Then after school I get to go to Tania's house :). But I have to get home soon so that I can get ready to go see Justin. Oh my gosh, I'm sick of talking about him and it's driving me crazy. GRRR!! Honestly, I can't even think right now. I know why but I won't say! Ahahaha :D.

43 THiNGS :]

http://www.43things.com/person/jackjackjackgirl

there it is folks, my 43 Things account!

Hm, just...babbling on about nothing.

So yesterday was pretty O.K.  I can't complain even though it seems like I always am complaining.  Saturday, I dropped my phone and it doesn't work anymore.  That's probably the millionth phone that I've ruined...and I'm not sure why my luck is so bad.  So my best guy friend = love of my life ;D, bought me a phone to last me until I need a new one that will be pretty bomb.  I'm not really into trying to get the new clothes or new accessories, but when it comes to phones, I like my phone to look good.   Same with any other electronic and I'm not sure why but that's just who I am :).  I played some Wii games with my cousin and brother so my arms hurt because of the boxing, baseball, and tennis.  I had to wake up at 7 AM yesterday and I had only gotten about 5.5 to 6 hours of sleep :S, it really sucked but I'm kind of used to it.  I'm still having trouble with this blogging site and I'm not sure if I really like it..it's so confusing.  Plus, I hate being added to a ton of different sites for blogs and goals and stuff.  Don't be mad Becky, that's just how I roll.