So I have the whole week off from work. It's definitely not something I'm totally used to and it'll be interesting. I get to see Megan today and I haven't seen her in awhile so I'm excited for that :). I've been cleaning soo much this weekend and it's not even funny! It was for a particular someone but I might as well look at it as a, "Hey, you need to be cleaning for you, not for anyone else!" Ha :). I made tuna salad yesterday and I used white tuna, BAD IDEA! It would have been so good other wise :(. I need to catch up on my work for school. I only have a couple weeks left and I'm slacking bad. I'm not really sure what my problem is. I'm really mad though that I can't graduate on time..I want to live my life normally and I can't do that if I'm stuck here in school all of the time! I wish I could go back in time, things would be so much different. I could have ditched John, passed my classes, maybe have long hair still and I wouldn't be here. No offense to Creative Arts or anything..but I do miss Harding because I was there for 3 years and all of my friends were there. The perks to being here though is that there aren't so many outrageous rules and I met Tyler..but other than that, sorry.
I do that wayyyy too much. I sulk around about the past..what I COULD have done. I know I shouldn't do that but I do mainly because I know that things would be a heck of a lot easier if I hadn't been so lazy and depressed. I know you can't help being depressed but if I had avoided John then I wouldn't have been. If I had also avoided Jason I could have dodged a lot of pain! Boys I tell yea, they are somethin' else. I'm not feeling very up to anything today. I was but..I'm just not anymore. Actually, I feel kind of depressed. Is it because I don't have my medicine?? I don't know!! But I wish I could figure it out. It's driving me crazy..and I'm really tired. So I just need to sleep after school because I don't feel up to being around anyone. I wish I wasn't here :(. Ugh..it's so hard right now, everything is.
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I like that even through your haze and exhaustion, you are able to express your feelings and open yourself up to self-examination. I think it's ok you're adjusting to life at CAHS with some regrets. It's good to be reflective on our past, but also key to relish the opportunities that God presents to us. I wouldn't normally quote or refer to God but you have spoken openly of faith, so i hope you don't take offense.
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