Friday, May 15, 2009
I hate how I react,
to things. I wish I didn't get so quiet when someone said something to me. I try really hard to be nice to everyone. Nothing happened today but in the past, people have tried to give me compliments and sometimes I didn't believe them so I would just look at them all weird and say, "Thanks..." and then smile a little. I hope it didn't make me look like a bitch. I always worry that I'm looking at someone weird so I try to smile to show that I really am nice and that I don't have anything against them because I'm not that type of person. It's rather irritating and I wish I could just RELAX. Since I'm so quiet, I'm sure they think I'm weird or something!!! Ugh, so frustrating.
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I struggle with compliments too and the funny thing is, just as you say, the intent of rejecting the comment is not to reject the person who said it, but it certainly might appear that way. Finding a balance is difficult, but knowing that every person chooses to be kind or not helps me to process compliments as positively as I can. The issue is mine, not theirs:)
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